First Annual Jerk-Off Draws Confused Crowd

St. Louis, MO – What began as a promotion for local radio station, KMRT, became the scene of confusion and unrest yesterday.

“This is a fairly new radio station,” said Station Manager Eric Lewis. “We just wanted to get the word out. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

According to reports, the event was called “KMRT’s First Annual Jerk-Off”. It was a promotional contest in which contestants would compete by being “jerks” to each other. The prize was to be an opportunity to be on air with popular morning radio personality “Jim the Jerk”.

Hundreds of listeners showed up to participate in the contest, but they were greeted by a much bigger crowd than they expected. Thousands of people arrived with different expectations.

“I can’t imagine what they thought we meant,” stated Lewis. “I think ‘Annual Jerk-Off’ is pretty self-explanatory. But those other people were kind of weird and awfully upset when they realized that they were mistaken.”

Lewis says that he will re-think this particular promotion next year, but plans to continue with this year’s “Beat-off and Self-love” competitions.