Pirates Disappointed by Lack of Swashbuckling

Indian Ocean – U.S. Navy ships have been surrounding a cargo ship seized by pirates last week. The ship is of Ukrainian origin and is loaded with Soviet era weaponry. The U.S. Navy hasn’t participated in the negotiations, but there has been a positive development.

The pirates have lowered their ransom demands from thirty-five million to twenty million dollars. Experts believe that the change of heart was a matter disillusionment.

According to reports, the pirates have been communicating through the media.

“We just expected more, um, you know, swords and stuff,” one of the pirates told reporters, through a translator. “It’s kind of boring up here.”

Allegedly the pirates, though armed with guns, carried duffel bags onto the ship, which were packed with high leather boots, three-cornered hats, parrots and cutlass-style swords.

“We really expected people to be swinging onto the deck and stuff,” stated one of the disenfranchised pirates. “Yar! I just wanted to say that a few times. This really sucks, there’s no rum, I haven’t gotten to push anybody off the plank, I don’t even know why I let my dad push me into this business.”

Experts are speculating that the pirates’ ransom demands will continue to fall, as long as swashbuckling levels remain as low as they are currently.