Hoover Wins Miss America Pageant

September, 1952

Atlantic City, NJ – Last night, in an odd turn of events, Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, John Edgar Hoover, won this nation’s most prestigious beauty pageant. This marks the first time any man has ever participated in the Miss America Pageant.

“That’s the thing,” noted one of the Judges. “He didn’t participate at all, not in any phase of the competition. His name was simply in the envelope. I don’t even know why he was here.”

There have been allegations that the results of the pageant have somehow been tampered with, but they were quickly dismissed as the accusers vanished.

A representative from the pageant, Henry Copeland, expressed confusion with the occurrence.

“When Mr. Hoover came out onto the stage to accept his victory,” said Copeland. “He was wearing the sash from the District of Columbia. What I don’t understand is where did Margery Dawkins, the other contestant from D.C. go?”

“I don’t know what happened, but it’s nice to feel pretty sometimes,” was Hoover’s only comment of the strange event.