General Motors Demoted To Colonel

Detroit, MI – General Motors announced yesterday that he will be giving up command over four truck and SUV plants. The decision was attributed to a decline in consumer interest and the demotion, by the Department of Defense, from General to Colonel.

The DOD has stated that poor performance, lack of initiative, and defeat by Japanese auto makers were the contributing factors.

“We (the Department of Defense) do not feel that Motors is capable of performing the duties of the rank of General,” explained a statement released by the DOD. “We regret that these measures had to be taken.”

Colonel Motors has remained resolute throughout the ordeal. Early reports show Motors looking to the future.

“The plan is to review the designs of less fuel efficient models focusing on small cars and alternative fuel vehicles.”

Motors also proclaimed a desire to return to the prestigious rank of General.