It’s the age old paradox known by every man who has ever been in a relationship. When a woman asks “Am I getting fat?” how does one reply?
Brian Duncan, a local 23 year old bicycle courier and boyfriend, has the answer.
“Honestly. I just tell her the truth. ‘Sally, you’re not fat.’ But she doesn’t believe me. She just stands in front of the mirror and tells me that I’m being nice so she won’t get mad.” Brian went on to explain what would happen if he agreed with her. It’s a story that is all too familiar. “Does she want the truth, or does she want me to lie by agreeing with her? I’ve been with her for a long time, as far as I can tell, she hasn’t gotten fat. She looks just as good as ever.”
The problem stems from deep seated self esteem and body image issues which plague many of today’s women. The majority of dime-store psychologists and sociologists believe that unrealistic portrayals of women, in the media, cause this phenomenon. Average women see themselves as overweight because pop-culture shows abnormally thin women as sex symbols.
“Even if she has gained a few pounds, I didn’t notice. Besides, she still looks hot, and I love her, so why does it matter?” Brian and I both know that, somehow, he has just said the wrong thing. Such a sincere declaration from an honest loving boyfriend can only be interpreted as, “She did get fat, but I’m not going to tell her.” This couldn’t be farther from the truth.
“I just want her to realize that I’m not trying to spare her feelings, I really mean it.”
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