“Piece Of Crap” Transforms Local Slob Into Art Critic

Chicago, IL- “All I’m asking is what’s it supposed to be?” John Reed stood puzzled and frustrated with Chicago’s newest piece of public art.

Reed, a carpenter from the city’s near south side, claims a willful indifference to most art. He does, however, make an admitted exception in this case.

“I mean, if this is art, I’m in the wrong business,” stated an agitated Reed. “I could just throw some stuff together in a big pile, and the city could pay me a couple million bucks.”

The piece in question is Untitled Sculpture #5 by Marie Lynette, an up-and-coming Chicago artist. Ms. Lynette could not be reached for a comment.

Before a crowd of onlookers, Reed exclaimed, “Seriously, my kid could do this crap. Who’s in charge of buying these things?”

The others who had stopped to view the sculpture had mixed reactions; some stared, some tried to ignore him, and one man actually shouted, “Amen”.

Reed’s girlfriend, a graduate student at the Art Institute of Chicago, made an obvious effort to distance herself from the outburst; covering her face and slowly moving away from Reed.