Man with problem fails to find A-Team, dies at 34

“He had a problem, and nobody else could help.” So began Fr. Joseph McNally at a memorial service last Sunday. The funeral, held in Evanston, IL, was for Paul Sanders, a local administrative clerk. According to his widow, Jeanie Sanders,
“Paul looked everywhere, he just kept looking.” Through her tear filled eyes and cracking voice, she continued. “Once we realized that he had a problem, and nobody else could help, he started looking for the A-team.” As we discovered, he never found them.
Sanders’ credit card statements, which we acquired legally, showed a long list of airline tickets. Paul had been traveling for nearly a year. In his frantic search, he had traversed the globe, from the jungles of Colombia, to America’s heartland. Instead of spending his last months with his family, he desperately searched, trying to find them.
The Sanders’ attorney has accused the team of false advertisement and intends to sue for damages. “I am fully aware of the ambiguous nature of their claim, ‘…maybe you can hire…’ but it gave my client false hope, and led to his demise.”
Mrs. Sanders, visibly distraught, told us the story of a desperate man.
“I told him over and over again, the A-team didn’t deal with those kind of problems. But he wouldn’t listen and it was that same splinter in his finger that eventually killed him. He was never a very smart man.”
We contacted a representative of the team, he requested to remain anonymous, but the only comment he had was this;
“I pity the fool, I pity his wife, his family and friends, I pity them…all of those fools.”