Death Star Plans Located

Coruscant – “I’m so relieved,” stated Darth Vader, a key member of the Emperor’s cabinet. “I was going crazy looking for those plans.”

Vader issued a public apology for having assumed that the plans were stolen.

“A local man named Jim Thompson played an integral role in finding the plans,” explained Vader.

Reportedly, Thompson and Vader were discussing the lost plans at Vader’s apartment. The two watched reruns of 1980s television shows, a favorite pass-time for Thompson. Allegedly, an episode of NBC’s “The Cosby Show” helped illuminate the path to the plans.

“It was a great episode,” noted Thompson. “Vanessa had lost her homework and Dr. Huxtable played detective. Hilariously, He finds the homework in the freezer, the freezer!”

“Jim was like, ‘Hey, did you check the freezer?” said Vader. “And I was like, ‘No, why would it be in the freezer?’ But he was right there they were.”

Lord Vader immediately called his co-workers, reportedly saying, “Hey, it’s cool, sorry. My bad, they were in the freezer.”