Study Reveals: Mortality #1 Cause of Death

Chicago, IL – Researchers at the University of Chicago have just announced some amazing findings. According to the results of a study which concluded recently, Mortality is the number one cause of death among Americans.

The study involved thousands of participants and took researchers five years to complete.

“For many years we’ve been told that heart disease was the most prolific killer of Americans,” said Eugene Coplin, one of the students involved. “But it’s not true. Heart disease, cancer, badger attacks; none of them even remotely compares to mortality in terms of sheer numbers.”

Allegedly, every single death in America can be directly traced to mortality with all other factors being considered irrelevant. This finding could dramatically change the medical community.

“We could basically give up on everything else and focus on stopping the monster that is mortality,” stated Dr. Edgar Flores.

The study only involved Americans and researchers admit that the results give no indication as to whether or not mortality is an issue in other countries.