Elevator Flatulence a Bad Career Move

Redding, CA- Josh Pallard admits that recent actions were probably not his best professional efforts.

Pallard, 28, is a data entry clerk at Lewis Information Systems Inc., a prominent business solutions company in Redding. For the last two years, he has had his ambitions firmly set on the Office Manager position. Pallard has been the frontrunner for the promotion since its opening last month.

“I was in the elevator, by myself,” Pallard reported. “It was, like, two hours after the office closed, I didn’t think anyone was around.”

Pallard explained that he had been particularly gassy that day and out of courtesy to his co-workers, had been holding it.

“I was like, ‘well, I guess it’s okay now.’ Then the door opened at the fourth floor and Mr. Soto got on the elevator,” explained Pallard.

Pallard referred to Mr. John Soto, the Regional Manager for Lewis’. Soto has the final decision in whether or not Pallard is awarded the promotion.

“Josh just looked really uncomfortable and quickly got off of the elevator,” noted Soto. “I can’t really base a decision on unchecked bodily functions, nor am I that petty. But judging by that encounter, I think he should probably see a doctor. There’s something seriously wrong with that young man.”