Saturday, August 16, 2008

Hillbilly Industrialist Happens Upon Alternative Fuel Source

Appalachia, U.S.A. – Forty-year-old Ned Crumpet was unemployed and impoverished. He scarcely had means to provide food for his family.

Reportedly, Crumpet set out one day to find food. Unsuccessful, he became discouraged and decided to pass the time by firing his rifle into a nearby anthill.

“I heard this ‘ping’ kind of sound,” explained Crumpet. “And I knowed it weren’t no ants, ‘cause ants isn’t made of metal, I reckon.” [Sic]

The pinging sound came from a bullet ricocheting off of a natural underground windmill. Disturbed, the windmill come abubblin’ up, making Crumpet a very wealthy man. Crumpet has been urged to move away by family.

“They said Cali-fornia is the place I ought rightly be,” noted Crumpet. “But I disagree. I will likely take my new found wealth and move to Europe on account of the weak American dollar and the relative, albeit brief stability of the Euro.”

For many, it’s time to say goodbye to Ned. Crumpet does extend an invitation to all for the windmill’s opening ceremony next week.
“My attorney has advised me,” said Crumpet. “Due to the electrical nature of the windmill, to ask you to set a spell and remove any and all footwear for the duration of the ceremony.”