Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Some Jerk Bogarting “Doctor Who” Season 3

Chicago, IL – “Doctor Who” is somewhat of a cult phenomenon in the U.K. But for many outside of Britain, it is a recently discovered treasure of science fiction television. One such fan is Monkey Breath’s own Carthag the Pernicious.

“Carthag only recently began watching the adventures of The Doctor,” said Carthag. “The local video store supplied ample Doctor Who rentals for Carthag’s consumption.”

After watching seasons one and two, Carthag was eager to continue with the episode entitled “The Runaway Bride”; the season premiere of season three. According to reports, the DVD box set of season three was not available when Carthag went to rent it.

“Sorry, it’s out right now,” stated the owner of the local video rental shop.

“It is unwise to leave Carthag hanging after such a dramatic second season,” explained the beast of unspeakable horror that is Carthag. “Carthag is emotionally distraught concerning the loss of Rose Tyler. We are led to believe that the Doctor really did love her; how will he go on without her!?”

This is not an uncommon problem in regards to watching television series by rental. According to reports, viewers often have to wait to watch exciting new episodes until other customers return the DVDs.

Reportedly, the box set is being held by “some jerk” that is taking far too long to watch it.

Carthag the Pernicious has issued this public statement via telepathy to all customers of his local video store,

“Pitiful mortal meat bag creatures, if you insist on keeping season 3 away from Carthag, you will incur a wrath the likes of which you cannot even imagine! Your blood will boil from your veins and your children will be changed into my minions for the impending conquest of the human race. Carthag must discover the secrets of the Doctor’s mysterious past! You will obey!”

Carthag the Pernicious is a 10,000 year old being of unspeakable horror. He writes the Arts and Culture section of and has a movie review column on