Thursday, August 7, 2008

Unidentifiable Substance Inhabits Lost Tupperware

Louisville, KY – Jackie Roberts, 28, was searching through her refrigerator in hopes of finding a snack, when she noticed a storage container, which she didn’t recognize.

“It was all square and it had an orange lid,” said Roberts. “I don’t remember ever having that container. It was really weird.”

Allegedly, Roberts, curious as to the container’s contents, removed it from the refrigerator. She then attempted to inspect the mysterious contents hidden within.

“It was green and white,” noted Roberts. “I don’t remember eating anything green and white. It was furry. That’s when I called Bill.”

According to reports, Bill Anderson, Roberts’ boyfriend was in the living room of the house. He was asked to consult with Roberts in regards to what the Tupperware contained.

“I’ve never eaten anything like that,” explained Roberts. “Although, it doesn’t appear to be entirely out of character for Jackie’s cooking.”

Reportedly, the cryptic substance had no odor, was dry, and seemed unlike anything Roberts or Anderson had ever consumed. Anderson attempted to dispose of the contents of the container down the toilet, but it was reportedly too solid. It had to be fished out and thrown into the garbage.

“It was an absolutely harrowing experience,” said Roberts. “I hope we never have to see that stuff again…Wait! Was that that terrible meatloaf?”