Friday, July 25, 2008

Apple Invades Oregon as Part of Operation iConquest

Portland, OR - Invading forces crossed into Oregon this morning, allegedly originating from Apple Computer Inc. in Cupertino, CA.

According to reports, Oregon police and military is not prepared or equipped to combat Apple’s trendy looking, functional, and well-designed invading army.

“There’s something about the invasion force that seems very inviting,” stated Bill Savini, a representative from the Oregon state police. “They look sleek, sexy, and user friendly. They don’t interface directly with our current government or the systems we’re used to, but were told that this is an issue that’s being addressed.”

Moments after the invasion force crossed the southern border of the state, there were already rumors circulating regarding the next phase of Apple’s iConquest. Many residents seem to believe that the next phase will include video of some sort and increased storage capacity.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs made the following statement;

“All will bow before my power! Do not resist. I assure you that we are working on ways to interface seamlessly with your current lifestyle. You will be helped by our award winning customer service! Resistance is futile.”
Jobs, always a captivating speaker, did well to calm the concerns of Oregon residents. Speculation suggests that Apple will continue on toward Washington, but Apple hasn’t announced anything yet.