Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Lenient Crumpled Dollar Policy Boosts Approval Rating

Oak Park, IL – “This is the highest approval rating we’ve ever seen,” explained Bill Richter. “We’re looking at numbers around ninety-eight percent approval.” Richter is a floor supervisor at The Plastic Arts, a local plastics company. He is also the assessor of approval data.

According to reports, a recent poll of employees shows a significant change in public opinion. Last month, the company’s vending machine of nearly ten years was replaced with a newer model. Allegedly, the new machine has a very lenient policy regarding the use of crumpled, or otherwise damaged dollar bills. This is a drastic change from the previous administration’s strict “brand new dollar policy.

“I think it represents a change in the basic mindset of the worker,” noted Sally Welker, an entry-level employee. “Until recently, the policies of our vending machine showed people outside the company that we were onboard with strict dollar taking standards. And it didn’t help that last time we had a chance to change things, we didn’t.”

Welker referred to an opportunity in 2004 for the company to change contracts with vending machine distributors. The option to get a new machine was put to a vote. Allegedly, despite losing the popular vote among employees, the incumbent vendor retained its position. Management explains the discrepancy by noting that the employees were actually voting for representatives who would then promise to vote for a vendor. Employees have called the system confusing and obsolete.

“We’d like to put that whole 2004 thing behind us,” stated Richter. “The point is, now we have a machine that everyone can agree with.”

Management at The Plastic Arts has expressed some concerns about the overall corporate benefit of the new vending machine. However, management admits that public approval is undeniable and perhaps, this will be a change for the better.
Controversial policies of the new machine include a willingness to accept crumpled dollar bills, torn currency, and the relatively new, state-specific quarters.