Saturday, July 19, 2008

Unemployed Man Criticized For Unduly Enjoying Weekend

Ogdenville, MO – Kyle Manley, a 26-year-old local man, enjoys his weekends just like anybody else. The problem, say friends and neighbors, is that he is unemployed and doesn’t deserve the privilege of celebrating weekends.

“Okay, I get it, weekends are cool,” stated Joan Muir, a friend of Manley. “But it just burns me up to come home on Friday, after a long, hard week and have a voicemail from Kyle waiting for me. And he’s always really relaxed and happy. Weekends are for people who need to unwind, not for jerks who never get wound up.”

Many have considered banning Manley from weekends altogether.

“I don’t want to seem unfair,” noted Brad Horton, another friend of Manley. “But I think that piece of the pie should be reserved for people who have to work during the week. Kyle can go out and enjoy himself nine to five, Monday through Friday, leave the weekend for us.”

Despite the objections, Manley has remained unshaken.

“No, that’s fine,” said Manley. “They’re right; I got nothing to complain about. No more weekends for me. Seriously, whatever they want is cool with me. I mean, I don’t have to waste my time everyday, they’re out there killing themselves like a bunch of chumps.”