Sunday, July 13, 2008

Study Reveals: Monday Will Probably Suck

Lincoln, NE - A new study conducted by the University of Nebraska-Lincoln has shown some interesting results.

The findings, published in the University’s monthly scientific bulletin, were derived from data gathered from nearly three hundred test subjects; half of them college students, half of them were not.

According to the report, the days of the standard week have a cyclical wave of quality. Friday and Saturday almost always have high quality ratings; ranging from cool to I was so wasted.

Strangely, Monday received a very unflattering assessment.

“Monday will most likely suck,” stated Jonas Brayer, one of the researchers working on the study. “Not just like, “meh” suck. Truly, actually, suck a whole bunch. At least that’s what our findings suggest.”

No one involved in the study has come forward with any ideas concerning why Monday has such a foreboding reputation. Many believe that this is a sign of Monday’s inherent, unrelenting, godless evil; but no definitive answer has been given.