Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Pentagon Unveils Devastating New Weapon

Washington, D.C.- “It’s powerful, fast and versatile,” explained Master Sergeant Robert Kane U.S.M.C. “There just isn’t anything out there comparable to the F-bomb.”

The new weapon has a broad range of applications, according to the Department of Defense. However, the Department also admits that it has unpredictable consequences.

Critics have called it “America’s dirtiest bomb”; many arguing that its use is inappropriate and inflammatory at best.

“The F-bomb is never okay,” claimed Dimitri Wilkins, a human rights activist. “It (the f-bomb) never solves problems; it just makes things worse. You can’t expect to encourage diplomacy when you just run around tossing F-bombs at everybody. There are better ways, alternatives.”

Despite objections, the military has been researching the F-bomb for decades; trying to perfect the method of delivery.

“It’s just devastating and we are looking forward to using it in the current conflict overseas,” continued Master Sergeant Kane. “People over there don’t really understand it yet but we’ve been working on that problem for a few years now. It won’t be long before they fully understand the F-bomb and we can begin to use it effectively.”


Politics said...

Is this a joke or is there really a new bomb called the F-bomb? If you are serious what makes it so much better/worse then other bombs? Intriguing post one way or another!

Monkey Breath said...

We just report the news, perhaps further investigation is required.

"Downtown" Diaz De Leon said...

"“The F-bomb is never okay,” claimed Dimitri Wilkins, a human rights activist."

I've got to draw a line in the sand here with Wilkins. Look, as a global community, we've got to accept the fact that peace is and always will be the exception, and war is the norm. Having said that, there will always be a time and place for the F-bomb. Lets face it, sometimes diplomacy is just not the right spice for the dish.

Now the N-bomb...I think that's the one civilization would be better off without. Imagine our world today, if America had dropped one of those bad mother shut your mouths on Hiroshima. Completely inappropriate.

Col. Jack Simian U.S.M.C. Ret said...

How right you are "downtown". The N-bomb was, in fact, an experimental weapon we worked with just after WWII. They decided that it was just inhumane.

Wilkins is just one of those loud mothed, liberal pansies who doesn't want to hear about war because he's never been there.