Friday, May 9, 2008

Hip Hop Community Embraces Crude Oil

Los Angeles, CA- Since Hip Hop mogul Jay-Z publicly denounced Cristal champagne over comments made by the managing director of the champagne’s manufacturer; opulent members of the Hip Hop community have been searching for a new status symbol.

New reports suggest that the search is over. The winner: crude oil.

A young rapper named Bougie Khan (aka B-Khan, Bougie K, or the Khanman) has taken the first massive strides in popularizing the raw petroleum slurry. Khan, the self-proclaimed “Emperor of Opulence”, reportedly got the idea from the skyrocketing prices of oil.

“I look around and see that everybody’s got gold and diamonds,” explained Khan. “Anyone can get champagne and gas just wasn’t good enough. Only the richest men in the world have crude oil; it’s only the best for Bougie Khan.”

Khan’s first album, “I’m rich as hell”, featured tracks such as; Yes, oil for blood, Oil on me, Oil on you, and Carcinogen again. Several of the music videos from the album feature images of Khan pouring oil on scantily clad women, dumping large amounts of oil on himself and pouring a bottle of petroleum on the curb for his boys who couldn’t be there.

Many environmentalists have expressed concern that the depictions will encourage irresponsible use and disposal of fossil fuels.

Khan also announced that his chain of nightclubs, called Upper Echelon, will start “barrel service” for all VIPs.