Friday, September 26, 2008

Anecdote Inappropriate For Grandma’s Party

St. Cloud, MN – What began as a nice, quiet luncheon in honor of Delores Monohan’s seventy-fifth birthday, became the scene of general social awkwardness.

An annual event for the Monohan family, the luncheon is a time when they gather at Delores’ favorite restaurant, reminisce, and celebrate their cherished matriarch. It was only recently that 21 year-old Kelly, the family’s youngest member, has been invited to the party, independent of her parents.

“Kelly is great,” explained 26 year-old Mike, second youngest in the family and Kelly’s cousin. “But she just moved out on her own and she hasn’t quite figured out how to be an adult member of the family while still being respectful.”

According to reports, Kelly Monohan made herself the center of attention for most of the gathering.

“She was loud and rude,” noted Kelly’s father, Dave. “I didn’t raise her to have such a foul mouth.”

Allegedly, after the meal, when dessert and coffee were being served, Kelly told a story which she found quite amusing. She seemed unaware that the rest of the family was horrified by the inappropriate nature of the comments.

“Okay, they all just need to lighten up,” stated Kelly Monohan. “I just told them about the time I [censored] that [censored]. Come on, she’s seventy-five, it’s not like she never [censored] a [censored]. She’s had to have read about it, or seen it at least once before. You can’t go through your whole life without a [censored] in the [censored] doing the [censored] until Tuesday. That’s just a sad, sheltered life. I still can’t believe there was so much [censored] on the [censored]. I mean, she’s a cool old broad. I don’t see any harm.”

Reports suggest that Kelly will not be invited to family gatherings in the future. Especially since she [censored] the [censored] between the [censored] and then ate the [censored] before the Christmas ham.