Thursday, September 25, 2008

Michael Moore’s Colon Added To Google Maps

Mountain View, CA – Google stock prices soared yesterday when they announced that the popular Google Maps service had added maps of Michael Moore’s entire large intestine.

“It was a huge undertaking,” said Google CEO Eric E. Schmidt. “But all of our research showed a very real need for these maps. Our team has predicted that at some point in each of our lives we will, as individuals or otherwise, be eaten by the documentary filmmaker.”

The project took three years to complete with employees working around the clock collecting information concerning the complex track. Reportedly, the mapping is done with a combination of information gathering techniques.

“Some of the data comes from satellite images,” explained Schmidt. “Some of it comes from previous, incomplete mapping data. The rest, well we just have to get people in there walking the terrain one step at a time. It’s not an easy job, but we do it in order to provide comprehensive maps to people who need them.”

Pleased with the initial success of the launch, Google has confirmed that this is only the first of many projects like this. The Internet giant announced that it has already begun work on Randy Jackson’s and Louis Anderson’s respective colons. Schmidt also candidly suggested that Google was working on a map of V.P candidate Sarah Palin’s colon, providing as explanation simply, “you’ll see.”