Monday, September 8, 2008

FDR Surprises Nazis With Impromptu Jitterbug

October 10, 1942

Washington, D.C. – The President of the United States, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, took a moment last night to shock Uncle Fritz right out of his boots.

Rumors about President Roosevelt being confined to a wheel chair have been running rampant around Germany for several months. This vicious scuttlebutt has threatened to undermine our position as a dominating force in this Great War against the threat of fascism and the Nazi party.

The Commander in Chief took a break from his constant strategizing and attended a Washington area jazz club.

The crowd at the club humbly cleared the dance floor for the President and stared in quiet awe as he approached. With a cigarette in his mouth and a heartwarming smile, President Roosevelt addressed the revelers.

“It has never been my interest to impede the rabble-rousing of the spirited youth,” said Roosevelt. “And I don’t intend to start now.”

The President called for a photographer and proceeded to dance a lively jitterbug. He insisted that the photographer jot down these words:

“The enemies of these great United States will know from this day forth, that they’re up against a robust old Knickerbocker with a spry step. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Adolf!”