Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Grag Hate Ice Age

9,000 B.C. (approx)

North America – This season has been the coldest in recent history. As the ice caps expand and atmospheric changes plunge the Earth into near unprecedented low temperatures, many are finding basic survival to be inconvenient, at the least.

Grag is a local twenty-year-old hunter. He is one of the oldest members of his social group, or tribe, and fails to recall a season this inhospitable.

“Ice age, bad,” noted Grag. “Food am not here. Toes am numb.”[sic]

Grag went on to explain that the declining presence of foliage has caused herbivorous herd animals, the primary food source for Grag’s people, to migrate further south.

As a hunter, Grag’s employment is threatened by a lack of game.

“Grag job am being outsourced,” noted the despondent hunter. “Grag am not vested in pension yet.”[sic]

Grag sadly explained other problems plaguing he and his people. He made particular mention of the consistent cold, icy winds, and invasive groups of predators killing and eating members of the community.

“Grag think elders should do something about big cats,” said Grag. “Elders have responsibility to people. Not just fill pockets with shiny stones.”

When asked to summarize his sentiments about the current state of things, Grag was poignant and concise.
“Grag hate ice age.”