Monday, September 1, 2008

Obama Saves Entire World with Single Speech

Denver, CO – Democratic Presidential nominee, Barack Obama, addressed the nation on the final day of the Democratic national convention last Thursday.

For a number of reasons, the speech was considered a historic one. The fact that it was given by the first African-American candidate to be nominated by the democratic or republican parties was driven home by the coincidence with the anniversary of the “I have a dream” speech given by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

The content of the speech was the highlight; the factor which many believed would make it a moment remembered by generations.

But what happened immediately following the speech was entirely unexpected, the whole world started to get better.

In the Middle East, combatants laid down their arms. In portions of Africa, and the Southern United States, rain began to fall, improving the terrible droughts. Our planet began to change.

“It has really been amazing,” said Jeremy Pfaltzer, a political analyst. “I’ve never seen anything like it before. We’ve had reports that the global temperature has started to decline; the polar ice caps are actually growing. This is beyond the reach of politics.”

Reports suggest that belligerent nations have started diplomatic talks and economies around the globe have been steadily improving. Financial analysts say that the housing market has even stopped its decline.

The most recent word of the astonishing effects of Obama’s speech says that Giant Pandas have started “working over-time” to gets their species’ numbers up.

What does all of this mean? Experts are saying it means everything is going to be okay.