Monday, March 17, 2008

Computer’s Sole Purpose To Frustrate Old Woman

All technology is designed to make human life easier; whether it is a refrigerator to keep food from spoiling, or a gun to simplify the complicated and laborious task of murder. After a quarter of a century of silicon revolution, computers play pivotal roles in most aspects of our lives. For Margaret Louise Cook, things aren’t quite working out that way.
“During the Depression, I worked a two hundred acre tumbleweed farm. During the war, I was a welder, a basket weaver, a mechanic, a three-time Golden Gloves boxer, and I helped the war effort by touring as a USO dancer.” A spirited Ms. Cook explained. “But this darned thing…” Presumably in reference to her P.C., with which, she has had some difficulty.
When asked to elaborate she replied, “I don’t know, I hit the buttons I was supposed to. The man from the store told me how to do it, then my grandson came over and he showed me how. I think it just doesn’t like me, but I’ve always been very kind to it.” It is common among members of the pre-computer generations to project a level of emotional sentience onto computers. It is, currently, impossible for a computer to have any “feelings” or generate any opinions of its own. Ms. Cook claimed that she had been made aware of this fact, but was admittedly skeptical.
“I’m not some helpless woman; I saved President Roosevelt from an alligator. He was a cripple, you know, but he didn’t want anyone to know. He was a nice man.” explained Margaret, who insisted on being called “Maggie”.
When questioned about the situation the computer commented,
“I just don’t like her. There, I said it.”