Sunday, March 9, 2008

Conan O’Brien Captured, Surrenders Pot of Gold

For years the mischievous little guy has evaded capture, until late Friday night when he was caught in a burlap sack. The lucky captor was, Shamus O’Reillyberg, a local man, in his sixties.

“I’ve been hunting him my whole life.” Shamus claimed. “They’re tricky; this one has been pretending to be as tall as a real man, in fact, quite a bit taller!”

After filming, on Friday night, the star of “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” (a critically acclaimed NBC program) was walking to his car when a diminutive, sack-wielding O’Reillyberg tackled him.

“He was a fighter, alright, kicking and screaming, yelling at me in his unholy goblin tongues. The thing that really gave him away was his hair. It was like some kind of living hair beacon, calling out to his magical minions! No man has hair like that.”

Shamus carried the sack containing a beaten and sedated O’Brien several blocks to his home. There, he surrounded O’Brien with his eight pet cats.

“They’re deathly afraid of cats. You’ll never catch me without a house full of cats.” O’Reillyberg warned. Shamus went on to explain that once the sun rose, the “Leprechaun” would be trapped and have no choice but to give up his gold in exchange for freedom.

“He was terrified, shaking when I opened the bag. Ha! He gave me his gold and was free to go; I didn’t get that kind of respect when I captured Jay Leno.”

Mr. O’Brien, his agent, and Public Relations at NBC ignored our requests to provide a comment. In unrelated Conan O’Brien news, the excessively tall star filed for bankruptcy this weekend.