Monday, March 10, 2008

NASA Warns: Earth Hurtling Through Space

We are sitting on a rock flying through the cosmos at break-neck speeds, apparently. According to a post on, the stability that we feel is simply an illusion created by relative motion. The poster, NASAinternJosh21, had this to say:
“We’re moving at, like, a billion miles per hour. And we’re
not even moving in a straight line! No, it’s like some kind
of big wobbly circle thing.”

The mere suggestion that we are constantly moving has been met with strong opposition. Dr. Neil Arthur, our science analyst, gave his opinion on the subject.
“Flying through space? A billion miles per hour? It sounds like someone needs to lay off of the mind altering substances. The idea that we are just zipping around is as silly as, I don’t know, the idea that the whole universe is expanding, it’s pure fantasy. Plus, the only thing that can travel a billion miles per hour is atoms, and Earth is not an atom. Would you like some peyote?”
NASAintrenJosh21 has ignored our requests for an interview, and we can’t find any evidence of his extensive training or employment with NASA. It’s possible that he is some sort of secret weapon.
Science, as a whole, has got a lot of thinking to do. Presumably, just like “Dear Old Dad”, Science will lock itself in a room with a bottle of Scotch and some video tapes, and have things all figured out by morning. Good luck, Science.