Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Frustrated Fed: Why Don’t You Just Stimulate Yourself?

Washington, D.C. – The Federal Reserve Board is tired of issuing one stimulus after another and getting no response. The Federal government issued a massive stimulus package earlier this year, but the economy showed little interest.

 After the Wall Street bailout that happened last month had little effect on the overall stimulation of the nation’s finances, the Fed has seemed more irritable than usual.

 “You know, I used to feel personally responsible for this type of thing,” said Reserve Board Chairman Ben Bernanke. “But I’m starting to think that it isn’t me. I think the economy doesn’t want to be stimulated, not by us anyway.”

 Many have argued that getting angry at the economy is hardly the solution to this problem, but Bernanke says it’s difficult not to be a little frustrated.

 “It’s actually kind of embarrassing,” said Bernanke. “If I can’t stimulate my economy who will? And I’m not even sure I want anyone else taking care of the economy. I promised we’d work through this, but I can’t take it much longer.”

 Several other officials have expressed the emotional distress caused by the current financial climate.

 One prominent lawmaker issued this bitter suggestion to the economy,

 “I give up, Why don’t you just stimulate yourself?”