Thursday, October 23, 2008

Real-life Scooby Doo Found Dead

Gettysburg, PA – Scooby was a nine year old Great Dane who helped Marcus DeWitt and Louis Alexander with their paranormal investigations. Alexander and DeWitt run a small “ghost busting and mystery solving” company called, Ghost of a Chance.

“Scooby was a great dog,” explained DeWitt, who served as the dog’s primary trainer. “He was all about sniffing out ghosts.”

The dog was found dismembered in the allegedly haunted home of Mr. Jenkins. According to reports, the team was hired to rid the house of a violent poltergeist.

“We would always send Scoob in first,” said DeWitt. “He’d sniff them out, bark a whole lot, and we knew exactly where to find the ghosts…or any, like, sausages or anything people left lying around. That dog loved to eat.”

“I never told Marcus,” noted Alexander. “But this was our sixth Scooby. I had to replace them so he wouldn’t find out; they just kept dying. That’s what happens when you get a big dog stoned and send him into a house full of evil spirits.”

As a result of the tragedy, the paranormal investigators failed to complete the task of ridding the home of its ghost. Allegedly, they did find this mask…and a piece of Mr. Jenkins’ coveralls…and a basement full of gold?

This mystery is solved. It was…Mr. Jenkins. Reportedly, he would’ve gotten away with it too, had it not been for that hungry, toasted dog.