Thursday, October 2, 2008

McCain Demands Immediate Action on Sarah Palin Bailout

Washington, D.C.- After making such a dramatic display in regards to the financial bailout bill and the subsequent, yet unrelated, passing of it through Senate, Senator John McCain is confident that he can affect change.

Since the bailout plan passed last night, in the Senate, the presidential hopeful has taken up a new cause, bailing out running mate Sarah Palin.

“My friends,” said Senator McCain in a press release. “Governor Palin is in desperate need of assistance. We cannot just sit by and do nothing; Congress needs to take action as quickly and decisively as possible. Governor Palin is in trouble, and if we allow her to fail, it will affect Main Street, Wall Street, and John McCain Street for a very long time.”

The trouble to which Senator McCain refers, presumably, is the impending Vice Presidential debate that is scheduled for this evening. Reports suggest that McCain is concerned that a debate against the Democratic V.P. candidate could remove what little credibility Palin has left.

“This is not the first time I’ve suggested something like this,” explained Senator McCain. “I’m known as a bit of a maverick in the Senate. I called for action to be taken when I wanted to save my own ass, last week. It was the partisan, hurtful politics of Senator Obama and the Democratic Party that prevented me from taking action on that front. I’m a war veteran, and a maverick. We need to take immediate action to help Governor Palin out of this difficult position, and I’m a maverick.”

Early evidence suggests that Congress will not pass any bailout for Gov. Palin. Many members of Congress are still largely uneasy with the “Automatically president if you sign this” clause that Senator McCain has worked into it.

“Oh, that’s just standard legal mumbo-jumbo,” noted McCain.


Anonymous said...

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