Saturday, October 18, 2008

Pfizer Announces Miracle Drug, Placebonex™

New York, NY Yesterday pharmaceuticals giant Pfizer announced the beginning of full scale production of a new medication that many are calling a “miracle drug”.

The product in question is called Placebonex™ . According to the Food and Drug Administration it has been proven effective against everything from the common cold to terminal cancer.
“We have been researching the commercial viability of Placebo-type medications for decades,” read a written statement from the New York based corporation. “In clinical trials, Placebonex™ has proven to effectively treat diseases, disorders, infections, inflammations, and boo-boos approximately forty percent of the time. Though other drugs have tested more effectively in specific conditions, none have shown such promising versatility.”

The FDA report on Placebonex™ states that the chemical make-up of the pill has been thoroughly tested and only poses a threat if the person taking it is told that it is poison.
“Placebonex™ is very inexpensive and easy to manufacture, consisting primarily of sugar,” explained a Pfizer representative. “The per-unit production cost minimal compared to the cost of other drugs. Production requires literally fractions of a Yuan (the currency of China, where the medication is made). Because of this amazingly low overhead cost, we are able to sell Placebonex™ to the public at the bargain price of only forty American dollars per pill.”