Thursday, October 9, 2008

S.F. Rock and Roll Infrastructure Crumbling

Mayor Asks for Federal Aid

San Francisco, CA – A lot of vision went into the growth of one of America’s largest cities, San Francisco. Mayor Gavin Newsom says that hard work, vision, and hope weren’t the only components.

“We built this city on rock and roll,” confidently stated Newsom. “And I don’t mean figuratively, there is a legitimate framework of rock and roll in this city.”

Newsom explained that the original city planners were a bit shortsighted in using so much of the volatile material.

“This great city, which I love, is crumbling from the bottom up,” Newsom told reporters with a somber tone. “Unfortunately, when we built this city on rock and roll, we didn’t take into account the very dynamic nature of the medium. Just like in the 1980s, rock and roll is going through some serious changes, which could spell disaster for San Francisco.”

Newsom called to city, state, and federal authorities for sympathy and assistance.

“If they can bailout Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac,” noted Newsom. “They can certainly help out here in Frisco. Our largest concern is research; we have no detailed information as to how to maintain rock and roll. A detailed account of the fact that we built this city on rock and roll was recorded by the band ‘Starship’, but no advice was given on the subject of maintenance.”

The Mayor’s Office has since suggested that perhaps that song was about Los Angeles.