Saturday, October 4, 2008

O.J. Simpson Found Guilty of Pushing Luck

Las Vegas, NV – A guilty verdict was read yesterday for former NFL star O.J. Simpson. He was charged with pushing his luck, not quitting while he was ahead, and looking a gift horse in the mouth, among other things.

Simpson was acquitted in 1997 for the alleged murder of his ex-wife and her friend. The acquittal was the result of a lengthy and highly publicized trial .Many members of the media, as well as the viewing public, were of the opinion that Simpson was guilty.

Despite being cleared of the criminal charges, Simpson felt compelled to “see how far he could push this.”

In 2007 Simpson was arrested for armed robbery, kidnapping, and assault with a deadly weapon.

During the subsequent trial, Simpson was asked, by the prosecution, why he would continue to push his luck.

“You think he’d want to stay as far away from a courtroom as possible,” said a member of the prosecution. “I mean, he was lucky to get off last time, why push it?”

Members of the jury which convicted Simpson agree that he just tried to push it too far.

“I don’t care if he really did anything wrong,” noted one of the jurors. “None of us did. We just think he should be convicted on principle. If it were me, I’d stay as far away from any illegal activities as possible.”