Saturday, June 14, 2008

Obsessive Compulsive German Can’t Stop Washing Hans

Irvington, NJ – Millions of Americans, and countless others around the world, suffer from a psychological condition known as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Werner Gummikopf, a New Jersey resident originally from Ingolstadt, Germany, shows some very unique symptoms of the disorder.

Gummikopf reportedly came to the United States fifteen years ago with his younger brother Hans, now thirty-two years old.

“When I was five, our mother told Werner to give me a bath,” recalled Hans Gummikopf in his heavy accent. “I remember she said, ‘Be sure to wash him well, or monsters will come and eat you both in your sleep.’ It was probably not the best thing to tell him.”

Allegedly Werner, now thirty-eight, cannot control the urge to bath his little brother. Werner admits to washing his Hans three times per day, although Hans estimates the number to be closer to seven.

Friends and neighbors have described Hans as bright red and “all pruney”, admitting that it is hard to tell as he rarely goes outside.

“I know I should not wash him so much,” stated Werner. “But he is always so filthy; und bad things happen if Hans is not clean.”

Hans explained that he doesn’t mind indulging his brother most of the time. However when he does need a break, he leaves odd numbered quantities of objects strewn about the house.