Sunday, June 22, 2008

Shroud of Turin, Forgery; Jesus Tortilla, Authentic

Abilene, TX - The infamous relic said to bare the image of Jesus Christ, The Shroud of Turin was finally and officially exposed as a hoax yesterday. News of the revelation shocked many believers.

“It’s really disheartening,” noted Roy Baker, a lifelong Catholic. “…to find out that something like that is just a fake.”

The day wasn’t a total loss for the blindly faithful. Within mere hours of the shroud announcement, the Vatican accepted a tortilla showing the image of Jesus Christ as a genuine miracle.

“As far as we can tell,” stated Father Charles Nottingham. “This is actually the image of our Lord Jesus Christ. I believe it was sent by God to teach us something.”

The tortilla, found at a restaurant in northern Texas, is approximately seven inches in diameter.

“Of course the image has been reduced in size,” explained Father Nottingham. “The Lord knows that a life-sized portrait would not fit on a tortilla. Unless it was one of those big burrito tortillas, then maybe.”

The faithful have been flocking to Abilene to see the miraculous tortilla.

Anthony Villarreal, owner of the restaurant where the tortilla was found, has been very happy with the turn out.

“Yeah, it sort of looks like a dude, maybe Jesus,” said Villarreal. “But I’m not complaining, business is booming. You know, it’s just like any other pilgrimage; people travel hundreds of miles, see the ‘miracle’, buy a torta and go home. It’s really a great system. Hey, do they sell tortas in Rome?”


Anglican Episcopalian said...

Amusing, even though I really do think the shroud is genuine.

Monkey Breath said...

I don't understnd what's so amusing about it. This tortilla is a genuine miracle.