Tuesday, April 15, 2008

American Grounds Hundreds of Flights

Largest Mass Punishment in History

Fort Worth, TX
- American Airlines has grounded well over one thousand flights in the last week, making a very deliberate stance against insubordination.

A representative from American stated that, “This hurts us more than it hurts you”. The statement was, apparently, directed at the hundreds of airplanes which did not pass the FAA’s new, strict guidelines for mechanical safety.

American argues that the planes have been warned about non-compliance with the rules.

“As long as you’re stored in our hangers, you’ll comply with our safety regulations,” explained a statement made by American, directly to non-compliant aircraft. “You’re grounded until you decide that you’re going to meet our standards”.

The aircraft have responded with diligent efforts to comply but reports that American Airlines is “…just being unfair!”

American Airlines refuses to listen to the pleas of the aircraft until they comply. A representative from American states that the next step is to send them to bed without dinner, and that they’re “just asking for a spanking”.