Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Runaway Train Takes Perfectly Predictable Route

Bismarck, ND- “It was very chaotic, I’ve never seen anything like it,” claimed Arthur Clancy, a shaken train conductor. Onlookers were mildly shocked last Thursday as a train barreled through their community, totally out of control.

Residents noted that it was not a daily occurrence, but wasn’t really anything to be worried about.

“Just stay out of its way,” stated Jeremy Brock, a local high school student. “It’s on rails, it’s not like it’s going to come into your house.”

Clancy, a 55 year old resident, who has been conducting freight trains through this area for over twenty years, was disturbed by the occurrence.

“The train was just going crazy,” explained Clancy. “This is a ‘slow zone’ for freighters; that was by far, the most erratic behavior I have ever seen from a train.”

Reports say that the loss of control was a result of mechanical failure and the crew resolved it quickly. Few people in the community even noticed the train’s “path of chaos”.

A representative of the railroad company commented.

“Sometimes you just don’t know what’s going to happen; trains are tricky machines. Our only saving grace is that there is exactly one variable in the operation of a train, speed. Once we got that under control everything falls into place.”