Friday, April 25, 2008

Childless Adults Celebrate “Bring Your Smug Self-Satisfaction to Work Day”

New York, NY- Yesterday, working parents and their children across the country participated in “Take our sons and daughters to work day”. Many adults who have chosen not to be parents feel that this is an exclusionist holiday illustrating the unfair treatment of childless individuals.

As a statement of moral equality, many non-parents have established “Bring your smug self-satisfaction to work day”.

“Just because they were a bunch of irresponsible breeders doesn’t mean we should have to deal with their kids,” noted Miles Austin, a 28 year old married man without children.

Vocal members of the childless adult community have suggested that they believe the act of having children to be selfish and irresponsible behavior. They have expressed concerns that overpopulation contributes to dire food and water shortages, fossil fuel consumption and other pertinent issues facing the world today.

As part of the celebration individuals ignored children of co-workers, took frequent cigarette breaks and engaged in objectionable conversation to alienate parents and their offspring.

“This celebration is kind of a big deal,” continued Austin. “There are all kinds of traditions; the telling of sexually explicit anecdotes, the cursing contest and the frivolous spending of disposable income. Really, lots of fun stuff. It’s a reward to us for being responsible and not ruining our lives.”

Opponents of the celebration proclaim that it is simply ignorance to the miracle of giving life that has inspired the “counter-holiday”. One childless participant replied, “It’s true, our weekly parties and frequent vacations are certainly tragic symptoms of our ignorance.”