Friday, April 11, 2008

Special Edition: Reflection in Cheney’s Glasses Shows Elusive Waldo

Washington, D.C.- It’s been a long time coming, but somebody has finally found Waldo. That somebody is U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney.

An image found on a White House website has been the focus of a lot of controversy lately. The now infamous photo of Cheney allegedly fishing has drawn speculation from news outlets, bloggers and members of the general public. There have been suggestions that the reflection in the Vice President’s sunglasses is that of a naked woman. One website makes the preposterous claim that what we are seeing is in fact Cheney’s hand.

Despite a clear statement from a spokeswoman from the Vice President’s office, the skeptics were not convinced that the image is, in fact, Cheney’s own hand. Late reports have confirmed the surprising image shown in the reflection is actually Waldo, of “Where’s Waldo” fame.

In the image, Vice President Cheney wears a crafty grin; showing the undeniable gratification and self-confidence that can only come from this discovery. Reports suggest that Cheney has been, covertly, searching for Waldo for many years. Allegedly, the hunting incident, in which Cheney shot a hunting companion in the face, was part of the search for Waldo. Cheney’s hunting companion had reportedly put on a red-and-white striped stocking cap (much like the one worn by the famed Waldo) as part of a practical joke.

After years of intense searching, Vice President Cheney returned to the White House with a resounding “Mission Accomplished!” A spokesperson for Cheney expressed the Vice President’s satisfaction,

“The Vice President has called Waldo his “White Whale” and is very relieved to have found him. He states that he is now ready to retire and no longer fears death. The Vice President believes that he has accomplished all that he has ever wanted to accomplish.”

The find was surprising to avid Waldo watchers. Many claim that it was uncharacteristic of Waldo to be on a lake in Idaho, as he prefers to spend his time “lost in a crowd”. As a result of finally being found, Waldo has publicly announced his retirement.