Friday, April 4, 2008

Ungrateful Cat Craps on Floor

Baraboo, WI- Once humanity’s most feared predator, thousands of years of domestication have made cats a common house pet. However, an area cat is doing his part to remind us of our place on the food chain.

Chairman Meow, a local Persian, has flat out refused to use his litter box. Oscar Mendes, Meow’s owner is baffled.

“He just craps right next to it,” stated a desperate Mendes. “I’ve cleaned the box, moved it into a corner, hell, I even put it in the storage room where no one can bother him. I don’t know what to do.”

Mendes reports that he has owned Chairman Meow for over five years; having purchased the cat as a kitten. The cat’s behavior has otherwise been normal since he started defecating on the floor two months ago.

“I come home from work and he wants to play with his toy mouse and hang out while I play Xbox,” explained Mendes. “I give him treats, feed him, give him clean water and he still won’t use the damn box.”

Mendes allegedly took Meow to the veterinarian who found him to be in good health. Mendes believes that the behavior is a result of youthful rebellion. He does note that considering the cat’s age, it might be some type of “kitty mid-life crisis”.

“Maybe I should get him some young cat tail,” said Mendes. “But he’s fixed, so that probably won’t work. Do they make cat sized convertibles?”